What’s your Blueprint for 2018?

Wish you all a very Happy New Year 2018! On this occasion, I desire, that you achieve all your goals this year. This is my first post of the year, and I wanted to start with a wish that has the potential to come true, when YOU put your thoughts into it and pursue it wholeheartedly, giving your 100%.

So, how did you celebrate the New Year? Was it by going to a party and dancing away to glory? Or you stayed back home, called a few friends, and rejoiced their company? Or you were out of town holidaying, and rang in the New Year in your favorite destination, in the presence of your friends and/or family? Or you feel, the hoopla around New Year’s celebration is too overrated, it just fizzes away too quickly? So you don’t see it as a special time and refrain from celebrating it.

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I believe the New Year is the pretext to start afresh. It is the reason to look at things from a different perspective, a time to reconcile with the past and look forward to the future. I spend the last day of the fading year and the first day of the new year in solitude. This is the time I invest in introspection. I look back at the year which went by, the decisions I had made, what went right and bask in the glory of my achievements. I also look at what went wrong, analyze those mistakes, learn from them, and work on what I can do better next time. It is the time I give to myself to chalk out how I want my coming year to be. Work out what I want to achieve in the new year and create my BLUEPRINT for the new year.

I also spend some time with my personal coaching clients around this time. I was having one such deep conversation with a client a couple of days before the New Year’s Eve. I asked him normally, So how was your 2017? To which he answered IT WAS TERRIBLE! Immediately, I saw trouble, so I probed further…

What followed was a 2 hour long mind-boggling conversation where we discussed in detail why he felt like this. I was intrigued by the fact that he summed up the entire year with just one sentence, the year was terrible! After our discussion, he came to a conclusion that the year was not completely terrible after all. It was more of a roller-coaster ride.

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On the positive side, he had traveled to places he thought he would never travel, started new investments, enhanced his bond with his family, learned new skills, accomplished so much in the professional font, got a promotion, completed his travel goals in 2017.

On the hindsight, he lost his father to heart attack, he lost some money in the new investments he had bet on, he didn’t take care of his health, he felt he didn’t spend enough time with his family and he could’ve done better as an individual in 2017.

When I asked him, “tell me 10 awesome things and 10 really bad things that happened to you in 2017”, he took much longer to complete the list for 10 bad things against the list for good things! How fascinating is that?

This reinforced that as human beings we love to amplify our sufferings and underplay our achievements. We love to believe that we are struck by misfortune, and look for empathy from others to feel better. The problem is, most often we stay in the comfort of our uncomfortable pain, just because we get empathy from others. It’s like that drug which makes us feel great for a while, then throws us back to that zone again! We just refuse to come out of it and the worst part is that we deny the fact that we like to stay in that zone!

When I asked him, “have you created your Blueprint for 2018?” He asked “what is that? No, I have not. I have nothing specific to achieve this year!” Ta da da… there you go, if you have nothing awesome to look forward, how will you shrug off yourself from that sympathy zone to an action zone? Fortunately, he saw the problem and took step to fix it. By 5th Jan he shared his Blueprint with me. I must admit, he has worked on himself and come up with some brilliant things that he wants to do this year. Which will for sure transform him to be a much better version of him.

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If you are curious, what is this Blueprint, and how does this work; then let me explain this to you. Human beings achieve better when they have their eyes set on clearly defined goals; and they chalk out action plan to achieve these goals systematically and repeatedly. That’s what is a blueprint. Your blueprint is like the direction you follow to achieve your goals. It’s like the Google maps for your destination. Like Google maps, your blueprint helps you choose the quickest, most effective and least traffic (read obstacles) prone path for you.

Have you created your Blueprint for 2018? If yes, sending you more power to achieve them! If not, I would love to help you create it. All you have to do is register for Connect To Success Preview on 21st Jan. Find below the registration details.

https://www.facebook.com/events/320460045114443/

Would you take your life to the next level this year?

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PS: This post was first published on https://srijatablog.wordpress.com/

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You know that feeling of uneasiness you get when you try something new, something different, something that you’ve never done before – that will lead you onward towards your goals ?

That fear ?
It’s OK to be scared and it’s OK to recognize that that feeling has been stopping you all this while.
This is our comfort zone.
It is the space we prefer taking because it reminds of of being safe and at ease.
Take time to understand that EVERYTIME you reach out to do something like this, you will feel this way. You will want to cower down and curl up and shy away from anything that causes disturbance to that comfort zone you live in.
But to really really get to that goal ?
That is, at some point, going to require YOUR conscious effort.
It is going to ask you to STEP UP.
To do things you have NEVER EVER done before.
To shed that shell and take that step to do what is burning deep inside of you.
It is scary. And those fear are honestly never going to go away.
Because once you have conquered it – you have the next level of fear and comfort- zone- breaking to breach.
So don’t you think it’s time to get comfortable with your fears ?
Even in the Gita, it is said to get LOST in the process. And that the effort is more important than the goal itself. leave it
This way, when we get lost it in it, we revel in the fact that we took that step.
This also helps bring down the stress we allow to build inside of us , that we use to beat ourselves down, when we haven’t yet reached our goal.
It’s OK.
It’s OK to not YET reach it.
And it’s OK to recognize that. Take all the time you need to do so
And then you keep going. And revel in the process, acknowledge the fears. And acknowledge your action DESPITE your fears.

Have an ambitious, fear- filling, process – pleasing 2017 people.
Loads of Love   

 

The author is an Executive Coach & Social Entrepreneur

Twitter: CarolineVibha

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Seriously, Intelligence is Over-Rated.

I used to wonder where the point of getting good to great would happen.

I mean, how do you know when you’re getting really really good at what you’re doing?

Simple. You’ll find people, a steadily growing number of them actually, will want to meet you. Not because you’re known or something, and yeah, that happens to happen anyway, but because what you do is getting the results people want.

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So, we are seeing a lot of tense hesitation with women when they transition between where they are, to where they need to be. The Real versus the Ideal states.

We find that all this is to a very large extent, a state of mind.

Through our interviews, discussions, coaching and events, more and more we are realizing women do not take the step into the unknown, simply because it’s the unknown.

Sure, you’re probably thinking how is this different from the way men think, correct?

Correct. To look at it from the surface it is human nature to resist change and resist it we will. Excuses, delays, avoidance and denial flood our minds and stop us dead in our tracks, sometimes self-indulgence in opting to be mentally paralyzed too.

But, studies have shown that when it comes t0 us women, these challenges tend to take on a slightly if not grossly skewed shape. We have a gender based lens that enables us to perceive events that lead us to go into self- deprecation. We bring ourselves down, and filter situations from this world view.

In due course this takes us into a loop which stops us from progressing to getting to that ‘ really really good space’ aka, becoming experts at what we do.

Some of of the basics that can incrementally lead to disengaging this thought process are:

  1. Developing a clear Leadership Vision
  2. Self- Confidence Building
  3. Understanding what Success Means to us
  4. Networking
  5. Influencing and negotiating
  6. Others

We invite yoou to take notice of the fact that core skills around what you do have consciously not been mentioned here, as we consider that a given for success.

Over the course of the next few weeks, we at #VibhaWomen plan on addressing these facets via our workshops that will work in tandem with more sharing of thoughts and experiences that you can read here as well.

 

Join us either at our workshops or read more about this here shortly.

We also invite you to share your own thoughts around this.

More to follow, see ya soon.

 

The author is an Educationist, Social Entrepreneur and Coach

Twitter: #CarolineVibha

#iamvibha #vibhawomen #carolinecaresfernandes

Caroline Cares Fernandes

Time is money actually…and your approach to business networking can be educative, insightful or..it could be a complete waste of time!

Never underestimate the importance of having a large network, you never know where that good idea or that good source of support might come from.

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Ever wondered why your business networking ends up feeling you could have been doing something a bit more valuable instead?

Or, maybe you met with a majority of people there,whom you never intend on seeing again?

So, here’s the thing – With business networking, understand the underlying reason for why you,  yes you, are really going.

Take even the smallest geographical radius, on any given day/ weekend and honestly, there will be half a dozen events going on right under your nose. But knowing what you want to get out of it is key to knowing what you will end up identifying with and what your take-away will be. Yes, it really is an opportunistic world out there, and networking is about opportunity – espcially when opportunity meets good timing.

I speak to a lot of women owing to Vibha’s line of work – working with women entrepreneurs.

We women have a hard time opening up when it comes to large(r) groups of (unknown and sometimes perceptively strange people,some of whom you have already profile within the first few minutes of you entering said venue). There were times, earlier on, when I would hope the walls would take me in because I wouldn’t know what to talk about, how to carry a conversation forward and how to position my work. Now, because I have to more than I can, I am usually ready and armed verbally for a talk on my work.

Networking can be a rich resource of knowledge sharing, a place to find collaborators and a platform to be heard – if it’s done the appropriate way.

There was a time I would struggle to identify which events are really of any value for me. This becomes more and more obvious when its directly proportional to the minuscule and disappointing amount of learning you inevitably carry back from that event.

I think networking gives you a chance to connect with organizers, introduce yourself and what you are passionate about and find out who they are and more. In fact, this should probably be your first step – to associate yourself with the ‘why’ of this event.networking

Do your homework  BEFORE the event.

Find out about the organizers, speakers and make it a point to be at the event ahead of time. This enables you lead time to connect with them and other members of the audience.

Be Authentic and Practical

Sometimes it’s hard to network, if your connections get misconstrued as being over-friendly – especially if it’s with members of the opposite sex.

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Businesspeople exchanging cards

Topics like politics, sex, partying can not only build

the wrong impression about you at first but also led people to believe you aren’t really serious about what you do. Stay focused and friendly and be cognizant of the limits of your first interaction. There’s no doubt that being honest is a valued habit to have here, but know the distinction between personal and professional information shares.

What Can I do for You

Don’t hard sell yourself or your work. it is a big turn off. People will probably be comfortable when you have a common connect or if you let them know how you could help them.- Remember – Relationships first. Business Later. Trust is vital for anyone to do any long term business with you. So being nice, considerate and mindful can indicate your level of maturity, professionalism and ability to be friendly. Underscoring the point, Sonya Shelton, a leadership consultant and founder of Being Present to Win, describes women’s style of networking as mutually beneficial “added value.”

End it 

We can all probably remember times and people who drag conversations to a point of no return. Don’t be that person. Keep conversations light, brief and impressive. Show interest in the person’s line of work by asking relevant questions. Exchange cards and thank the person for meeting them.

Remember to send a mail in a day or two to follow-up on any contact that you could collaborate with for the future.

The author is a social entrepreneur and learner.

twitter: CarolineVibha

Caroline Cares Fernandes